Tales From the Cutting Counter

Tales from the Cutting Counter:

Customer: I am covering a headboard. The bed is queen-sized. How big is that and how much fabric do I need?

Me:

Different Customer: I am covering this pillow [Note--pillow form is 16 inches square.] Can I have a yard and a half of this [very trendy and ridiculously priced] trim to go around it?

Me:

Yet Another Customer: May I have 3 yards of this fabric, please?

Me: This piece is only 2 yards, 16 inches.

YAC: OK, I'll take 3 yards, then.

Me: This piece is only 2 yards, 16 inches.

YAC: Yes, I'll take the 3 yards.

Me:

Some days are diamonds, some days are gold.